“We are not thinking machines, we are feeling machines that think.” Antonio Damasio, MD, PhD in Descartes’ Error.
We all come into the world with our unique temperament. Teachers have long understood that different children learn differently and respect these differences by giving students a variety of ways to express their understanding of concepts and content: manipulatives, multimedia projects, auditory and visual instruction content, and integrated curricula. It is unfortunate, however, that our educational system sometimes lumps children with chronic trauma histories into special education classrooms with those with cognitive and physical challenges. Their needs often come into conflict with the needs of these other children. That trauma history makes a world of difference when trying to create an environment safe enough to make room to learn what many of us take for granted: bathing, dressing in clean clothes, brushing our teeth, sitting together for meals, and pitching in to get things done quickly not to mention reading, writing, arithmetic and lining up for recess.
Those of us charged with caring for children with chronic trauma histories, our “children from hard places”, as Karyn Purvis called them, have a responsibility to rethink our role in their lives. Many of us come to this role thinking our love will cure all. Many of us come to this having raised successful humans and are confident in our ability to share our parenting skills with children not born to us. Unfortunately, those early traumas took a toll on these children: They are often not receptive to the way we demonstrate our love. Strategies that were so effective with the children born to us (typical behavioral strategies with a foundation of excellent, attuned early caregiving) fail us miserably with children with chronic, early (even in-utero) trauma. Their sense of time makes working toward a reward at the end of the day simply out of reach. It is up to us to make the adjustments these children need of us. It is a prescription for failure to think they can adjust to our comfort zone of parenting.
When faced with a maltreated dog or cat, most of us will intuitively proceed with caution, patiently waiting for the animal to trust us enough to be touched or even approached directly. It is, sadly, no different with these children from hard places. For some reason, it is simply harder to comprehend the extent of the hurt in humans; easier to see it in animals. It occurs to me that if children had tails and expressive ears, we’d fare better. We are in the position of supporting the development of the trust necessary for moving through the day with a sense of safety. Every time we calmly help a child restore emotional regulation, we are proven to be someone they can trust. It is this trust that brings that elusive sense of safety. It is this safety that makes a teaching moment possible.
According to Daniel Goleman, PhD, two time Pulitzer Prize nominee, and author of Emotional Intelligence (why it can matter more than IQ), self-regulation is one of five components of emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness;
- Self-regulation;
- Internal motivation;
- Empathy;
- Social skills.
Self-regulation is the extent of a person’s ability to influence or control his or her own emotions and impulses. High levels of self-awareness, intrinsic motivation, empathy, and social skills are of little benefit, however, when one has no control over powerful emotions that can be triggered by the slightest indicator of threat. All of us can think of a time when we needed someone to help us recover from emotional overload and serve as our external regulator to restore our sense of calm and safety with a gentle voice or just their presence. Our children wake up overwhelmed and afraid. They need our active help to calm these big feelings and experience safety in our company.
Without this sense of safety, very little learning will occur or be demonstrated consistently. The best metaphor I can come up with is, we are pouring the concrete, not installing the drywall or light fixtures. This foundation provides the support for what comes next and is what educators mean by scaffolding: The support (instruction and guidance) is there for a long time until the child/student is ready to stand alone. But in the context of emotional regulation, rather than instruction and guidance, we serve as the external regulator, introducing rhythmic breathing and whole body activities like walking, singing, coloring, hammering, bike riding, chopping vegetables, etc. to restore calm or to lower arousal in advance of a challenging transition, until the child consistently demonstrates their ability to independently self-regulate under typical circumstances.
“The goals of scaffolding are to increase student proficiency and develop their skills as self-regulated learners. This is achieved by providing an appropriate amount of instructional support based on student needs and context complexity. As students grow as learners, scaffolding can be changed, reduced or removed over time.” From https://www.buffalo.edu/catt/teach/develop/build/scaffolding
The relevant word in the above sentence is self-regulated. Students with significant chronic histories come to the classroom in a baseline emotional state marked by fear and a readiness to read threat. They don’t assess the tone of the classroom; they arrive assuming the risk is there. They are inclined to overreact when mild events (being bumped up against, being frowned at) are seen as potential precursors to real threats/danger (being hit, being called names) and respond in extreme self-protective ways (striking out, verbal abuse, running away, hiding). Many of these children just don’t expect other humans to be sources of safety at all. For these students, the scaffolding needed in the classroom extends beyond educational concepts we hope to establish in the prefrontal cortex (the thinking, intentional, analytical, problem-solving part of the brain) like recognizing and replicating shapes, number concepts or sentence structure. These students also need our support as external regulators of their emotions, too, strengthening resilience of the emotional parts of their brains, the limbic system and brain stem (the systems that keep us safe without our conscious intention, but which serve as the gatekeepers against potential threat). Parents, teachers, and caregivers can provide such support by introducing regulating strategies that return the child to a brief sense of safety and connection. Only when connection and safety is felt can learning proceed. I encourage you to collaborate with teachers and caregivers to share which specific regulating strategies seem to work for the time being and to be ready to make adjustments as necessary. I hope you will direct them to this blog and the resources listed below to get the conversation started.
Resources
https://www.childtrauma.org/cta-library : This is Dr. Bruce Perry’s organization’s website where you can find articles quoted in the PowerPoint and many more resources for you and others who care for your child. No cost.
https://azcouncil.com/neurosequential-model-for-caregiving/ : This is a place to find a comprehensive collection of Dr. Perry’s free instructional videos.
https://child.tcu.edu/about-us/tbri/#sthash.pihb6kSI.dpbs :Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Karyn Purvis TCU. Dr Purvis offers another trauma informed take on living/working with children with chronic trauma histories. These have costs per video.
https://www.nytimes.com/by/daniel-goleman – for Dr. Goleman’s Pulitzer worthy columns
Books
Born for Love, Bruce Perry
The Connected Child, Karyn Purvis
The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk
Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Golman
Videos
Perry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3is_3XHKKs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv2sNQL-Blc on the classroom
Purvis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EZA4_xBdvY
Van der Kolk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoZT8-HqI64
Support
https://www.facebook.com/groups/feralneurodivergentragingmemeposting: This is a public Facebook group for people identifying as neurodivergent.
Trauma Informed Educators Network on Facebook
From the NEA: https://www.nea.org/professional-excellence/student-engagement/tools-tips/trauma-informed-practices
Regulating Activity Ideas
29 Amazing Calm Down Tools For Kids to Self-Regulate at https://www.prenda.com/post/29-amazing-calm-down-tools-for-kids-to-self-regulate
What is Self-Regulation? (+95 Skills and Strategies) at https://positivepsychology.com/self-regulation/
Other resources worthy of exploration
Learner Safety at https://youtu.be/bND6XuFrEVQ
Neuroscience based brain training at https://v4.brainhq.com/
NEWS
- Check out the AZAFAP Event Calendar at https://azafap.gnosishosting.net/Events/Calendar.
- Our Friday night Happy Hour and Tuesday afternoon Coffee Chat continue. We’ve also added Wednesday R&R at 10 AM. Some find the facilitator (me or Michelle) and a single other participant; others find a conversation among 4 to 6 people. The topics range from the silly to what hobbies have us in their grip to what life has thrown in our path. If you ever find yourself wanting a bit of grown-up conversation, consider joining us (check your email for the unchanging link).
- Parent Mentor Partners: AZAFAP has trained volunteer parents as mentors who are ready to help support foster, kinship, and adoptive parents through one-to-one conversations. Interested? Fill out the form at https://www.azafap.org/family-support-services/
- I encourage you to check out what Dr. Bruce Perry has to offer. Find his thoughts at https://youtu.be/uOsgDkeH52o?t=3 and at https://www.childtrauma.org/trauma-ptsd
Thanks for listening. Take care of yourself so you can be there reliably for others.
Cathy (cathyt@azafap.org)
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