Latest News

I’m going to focus on a concept possibly unfamiliar but worth your attention. Dosing is a word used by Dr. Bruce Perry of the Neurosequential Model to describe the role a caregiver has in controlling how much stress children with chronic trauma histories can successfully handle. Stress is part of life: I need gas but... Read More

I should apologize now. This feels more like a term paper than a blog but in my effort to be as clear as possible, it just became more and more academic sounding. I will try to wrap up in simpler language by the end! Last week in a support group, something was said that has... Read More

Parents who adopt a child from foster care enrich their own as well as a child’s life by providing that child with a loving, devoted family. They are giving the child a home for the rest of their lives where they can be safe, grow, and flourish. But, just like having children of your own,... Read More

I used to explain way too much by referring to hypervigilance. These days, I’ve come to understand better the variety of factors that can cause the meltdowns we see in our kids from hard places. I want to briefly explore: the intimacy barrier, sensory overload, will power exhaustion, and control issues. The Intimacy Barrier. Some,... Read More

We’ve gotten glib about this very complicated issue. “I identify as she/her, white, mother and Texan.” Or “I identify as a black American.” Though not an adoptee, I am very aware of my experience with identity development. My chaotic family fell short in comparison to those I encountered at church and among my friends. By... Read More

I usually talk to you about how to take care of yourself first so you can take care of others. This time I want to explore the art form known as a family. I could pick any of several metaphors for this: a car, the human body, a track ball mouse, or a crib mobile.... Read More

I have to remind myself to offer my credentials occasionally to those readers who may wonder why I write the way I do. Though I have a Master’s degree in Psychology (and have let my counseling license lapse); it is not this that I feel is the best source for my understanding of foster care... Read More

Skin color matters. Hair texture matters. History matters. I know I risk angering some readers with these ideas but that has never stopped me before. I hope you will stay with me. 1. My daughter’s best friend in high school was a black girl whose daddy had served in the Carter administration. She had always... Read More

We are into this pandemic for over a year. I hope you are able to get vaccinated. So many of us have health issues that prevent us from getting vaccinations; it is up to the rest of us to do what we can to achieve herd immunity. I had no problems with the first vaccine... Read More

When I’m not annoyed, irritable, distracted, angry, hungry, or otherwise dysregulated, it is pretty cool what my neocortex can come up with in the way of creative responses to the children in my care. I’ll share an old, favorite story then another, less productive but very silly one. Jack was a 16-year-old from a tiny... Read More