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“Never let ‘em see you sweat.” “Because I’m the parent, that’s why.” Children with chronic trauma histories (some of which begins in-utero, remember) often approach adults as big phonies who make big promises they won’t deliver on. The more we pretend to have it all figured out, the more they question our authenticity. Even more... Read More

Every year, Arizonans look for meaningful ways to give back before the calendar turns. What many don't realize is that the state offers a powerful opportunity to support children in foster care while reducing what they owe in state income taxes. The Arizona foster care tax credit isn’t a deduction. It’s a dollar-for-dollar credit that... Read More

I’ve been down a rabbit hole lately exploring what’s being said about consciousness. Any discussion about consciousness includes the idea of the self. You’d be surprised how complicated this gets to define. It has deepened my thinking about what makes life so hard for some of the kids in your care. I remember a 9-year-old... Read More

When was the last time anyone read to you? When was the last time you told a joke or a story from your childhood? What does play look like in your home? Play is central to child development. It brings opportunities for creative expression, cooperation, goal setting, negotiation, empathy, problem solving, self-confidence, and self-reliance. That’s... Read More

I’ve been reflecting on comments made recently in the class I teach, The Introduction to the Neurosequential Model for Caregivers. Dr. Perry describes, what he calls, the Intimacy Barrier. It seems to be similar to what we’ve long called ambivalence in a child’s experience of their connection to their caregiver(s). The story that set me... Read More

How should we navigate public situations when a total stranger approaches to ask about the racial composition of our families? I’m gonna do my best but every bone in my body just wants to firmly state, if not yell, “What makes that any of your business?” I am inspired to explore how many in American... Read More

I offer a trigger warning today as I’m going to get specific about what I usually just call chronic childhood trauma. I encourage you to take any steps that help you hear sad or shocking information without ruining your day. Please. Most of us spend a bit of energy protecting ourselves from stories like these... Read More

Foster and adopted children face educational obstacles that go beyond typical academic struggles. Frequent moves and school changes disrupt their learning. Trauma impacts memory, focus, and emotional regulation in the classroom. Learning gaps accumulate when children move between districts or miss school during transitions between placements. These students often need specialized student support to thrive... Read More

We think abandonment looks like Moses set adrift in the bulrushes, a baby left on the steps of a convent, or when Hansel and Gretel were left in the woods to fend for themselves. There are all sorts of abandonment. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines abandonment as “left without needed protection, care, or support”. As... Read More

Earlier this week I spoke with a mother who homeschools her three daughters and is fiercely committed to protecting them from what she sees as a dangerous world. I understand her fear. Many of us feel it. And yet, I also believe that much of childhood’s work is learning how to live among others. To... Read More