When was the last time anyone read to you? When was the last time you told a joke or a story from your childhood? What does play look like in your home? Play is central to child development. It brings opportunities for creative expression, cooperation, goal setting, negotiation, empathy, problem solving, self-confidence, and self-reliance. That’s a pretty impressive list! We have so many senses to consider when planning enriched play activities: Visual (sight), Auditory (hearing), Olfactory (smell), Gustatory (taste), Tactile (touch), Vestibular (place in space), Proprioceptive (sensations from muscles and joints), and Interoception (senses from internal organs).
Many years ago I attended a Play Therapy Conference in Breckenridge, Colorado, to prepare me for my work at a residential treatment center. Regrettably, I couldn’t afford to get certified in Play Therapy ‘cause this was my jam! I learned so much but the presenter who represents the most important take away was a woman from Oregan, as I recall, who was a fiber artist. She made dolls for her play room with no fewer than 15 different textures: beads for eyes, velvet for skirts or britches, lace for shawls, burlap for hair. You get the idea.
I think we forget or take for granted the role of texture in our lives. We seek it at meal time: I often specifically seek crunchy food. Sometimes I relish smooth and creamy. My granddaughter loves sour things. Her brother loves salty. Both of my grandkids are crazy for Slime and Squishies, Fidget toys, stickers, and the vast world of ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response). ASMR includes activities like hearing whispering or murmuring, tapping fingernails on glass, crinkling paper, or watching hair brushing. I love watching those videos that show the deep cleaning of rugs. A friend enjoys the sound of a comb being clicked. We’re now exploring the territories of visual, gustatory, and auditory as well as tactile textures. Who knew?
The neuroscience behind this stuff is still being researched and its impact varies from individual to individual. All of these, however, are reported to promote a deep sense of calm and serve to lower anxiety and sometimes heart rate and blood pressure. Some get pain relief. Some are helped to sleep or had their mood improved when this type of play releasees dopamine or oxytocin. I often talk about a wide variety of rhythmic activities like riding a bike, bouncing a ball, or riding in a car. I hope you notice the tiny rhythms that are part of these squishies, fidget toys, or the world of ASMR.
So here we are in a world of touch, seeing, and hearing that somehow translates into a form of play that can serve us. Traditionally, we think of play as games with rules like softball, pretending as in Dungeons and Dragons, or creativity as found in coloring, dancing, or singing. And again, here we are in a one size doesn’t fit all situation. To further complicate things, you are living with children whose bodies look like pre-teens or teens, but whose social and emotional development sometime looks more like that of a toddler’s.
Dr. Perry reminds us of the sequential nature of development. Back in my RTC days, I remember line staff insisting that kids learn to play games with rules because the world is full of rules. They just couldn’t look at a 13-year-old and accept their need to first learn those earlier, simpler social norms like taking turns, sharing or tolerating sitting next to someone. So keep this in mind: you may need multiple sets of supplies until sharing or taking turns comes “naturally” to your kids.
So here is my bottom line: sneak it in. It isn’t considered “cool” so you can’t expect a 13-year-old to engage in a water table, but you can let them swim or take all the time they want to get the dishes done or take a bath/shower. How about these?
- Make bath bombs, scented candles or personal perfumes.
- Pop bubble wrap.
- Make slime.
- Serve pickles with dinner.
- Design room décor out of paper mache’ or adding fabric stiffener to form boxes/bowls.
- Explore Gelli printing. No drawing skills necessary. Use leaves and flowers.
- Bake anything that smells wonderful.
- Introduce new textures into pillows, bedding, clothing: velvets, laces, burlap, seersucker, etc.
- Hikes and nature walks. Collect/feel as you go.
- Start an art journal.
- Yard work! Worms for fishing!
‘Cause here’s the deal: yours is the most powerful relationship in this child’s life right now. Not their therapist, not their teacher, not the visiting aid, important as these people can be. You get a needed break when these people control the hour, but you are the most important person in terms of healing potential. So, take care of yourself. Sneak some play in for yourself and the children with whom you share your day. It’s good for you both and even better when you play together!
Peace,
Cathy
